Both of my classmates agree that my thesis needs to be improved upon. Overall I do understand that my introduction needs to improved. I went too quickly into the “meat” of the essay rather than explain my thesis well. Alana pointed out a couple places where I missed connections that I could have made as well. I could have connected predictability and organized complexity better, as well as improved my connections between organized complexity and the classroom, which were not clear. She pointed out the question to think about, which makes me realize that though I thought the connection I made between them was clear, to the reader it was not clear at all. Also I need to be clear with my quotes and explain them fully. I did not spend enough time explaining connections that I believed were evident. Also Aakansha pointed out places where I repeated myself without meaning to. I need to go back to those places and add new ideas and connections instead of relying on other thoughts I had expanded upon elsewhere in the paper. Also not only did I repeat ideas, I also repeated connecting phrases and word choices, rather than vary my sentence structure. Also, an off-handed comment of how I forgot to contradict Davidson at one point in my paper lead me to a whole new topic as well, which I have used to build my paper further. Finally, I was also surprised that my classmates did not remove more of my paper through deletions. Going through my paper again, I removed even more of repeated thoughts and making other arguments more concise. Perhaps they were more lenient on sentence length, but I feel like my paper had too much fluff that even my classmates missed some.