RD 2 Paragraph Revision

Original
By giving original works new purpose, one can find his distinct role in collaboration. Lethem introduces the idea that “...second comers might do a much better job than the originator with the original idea” (Lethem 217). When a creator puts an idea into the world for the first time, his mind predominantly views it in one specific light, or for one specific purpose, giving it a miniscule outreach and impact in comparison to its potential. However, when another creator, or creators, can take that idea and add his own perspective to it, amazing things can occur and the product can advance itself beyond the originator’s intentions. For example, at Duke University, students were able to repurpose the iPod, a device designed for music, to serve people academically (Davidson). Students could listen to Shakespeare, Calculus lectures, and comedic podcasts without leaving their own earbuds, not only in Durham, North Carolina, but across the world because of their innovations. Davidson enforces, “This was a conceptual breakthrough: that a commercial product might also be susceptible to consumer customization....to a product with a far more fixed, finite identity” (Davidson 53). By creating new uses for the iPod, students were able to add longevity to a product that could have died out much more quickly, therefore advancing Steve Job’s vision by adding their own individual spin, still without compromising the original idea. Repurposing, additionally, can go beyond accelerating a concept, and instead truly transform it into something unrecognizable, really establishing the new collaborator’s unique thought process. For instance, when Lethem receives his first novel as a gift from his friend, instead of a traditional paperback, as an intricate, modern art piece (Lethem 219). The artist interpreted Lethem’s work as something completely different and published it, not as a way to steal or infringe on Lethem’s intellectual property, but as a medium to express his own ideas. Through that collaboration, Lethem’s work could be expanded to art appreciators and modernists, as opposed to only those who enter a library or bookstore, thus fulfilling more of the object’s potential. These situations perfectly exemplify the following conclusion by Thomas Jefferson: “He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction to himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.’” (Lethem 218). Through both examples of repurposing, one can see the reflection of the successor’s individuality in the revitalized purpose and more widespread audience of users, appreciators, and understanders.
Revised
By giving original works new purpose, one can find his distinct role in collaboration. Lethem introduces the idea that “...second comers might do a much better job than the originator with the original idea” (Lethem 217). When a creator puts an idea into the world for the first time, his mind predominantly views it in one specific light, or for one specific purpose, giving it a miniscule outreach and impact in comparison to its potential. However, when another creator, or creators, can take that idea and add his own perspective to it, amazing things can occur and the product can advance itself beyond the originator’s intentions. For example, at Duke University, students were able to repurpose the iPod, a device designed for music, to serve people academically (Davidson). Davidson enforces, “This was a conceptual breakthrough: that a commercial product might also be susceptible to consumer customization....to a product with a far more fixed, finite identity” (Davidson 53). By creating new uses for the iPod, students were able to add longevity to a product that could have died out much more quickly, therefore advancing Steve Job’s vision by adding their own individual spin, still without compromising the original idea. Repurposing, additionally, can go beyond accelerating a concept, and instead truly transform it into something unrecognizable, really establishing the new collaborator’s unique thought process. For instance, when Lethem receives his first novel as a gift from his friend, instead of a traditional paperback, as an intricate, modern art piece (Lethem 219). The artist interpreted Lethem’s work as something completely different and published it, not as a way to steal or infringe on Lethem’s intellectual property, but as a medium to express his own ideas. Through that collaboration, Lethem’s work could be expanded to art appreciators and modernists, as opposed to only those who enter a library or bookstore, thus fulfilling more of the object’s potential. These situations perfectly exemplify the following conclusion by Thomas Jefferson: “He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction to himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.’” (Lethem 218). The students were able to take from Jobs' idea and illuminate it, as the artist did with Lethem's novel, still allowing those original two lights to shine just as brightly as before on their own. Through both examples of repurposing, one can see the reflection of the successor’s individuality in the revitalized purpose and more widespread audience of users, appreciators, and understanders.
Analysis
One of my peers commented that the original version of this paragraph contained too much summary, so in the revision I tried to cut down on that. By cutting down on retelling of the authors' ideas and stories, my own thoughts can take center stage, thus allowing my thesis to be more prominent. I also elaborated on Jefferson's quote to establish its purpose in the paragraph more clear. While my peers did not have too many negative critiques on my essay, their feedback was still greatly appreciated and helpful in making my paper the best it can be.